Observe yourself
Exhaustion and headache following up a stomach flu have drained my energy. I notice that in those moments where the body feels weak is easier to feel bad for myself and become more bitter and less tolerant toward others. Feelings of victimization and hopelessness, I’ve noticed, are very much linked to the way my physical body feels. I rarely find myself in those states when I’ve had some morning exercise, a nice walk outside in nature or a playful day with my kids.
A few years back I wouldn’t even notice this. And even when I did, my “natural” response would most likely be a self-blaming one. Now, it’s different. I still hear some old self pity or self loathing narratives at the background but now I hear more the compassionate side of me who allows me to feel the way I feel and be the way I am without (harsh) judgment. And that so calming to notice. This hasn’t been an easy shift for me. My inner critic had become so loud over the years that I couldn’t separate it from my own voice any more. But now I can. And it’s not even that loud anymore. It’s still somewhere there but it doesn’t make a lot of noise neither overtakes the rest of me.
Self-observation helps us notice, break or change patterns that don’t serve us anymore in our (daily) life. It helps us create a distance between our thought and habitual processes. This daily habit of self observation supports us in building a more fulfilling and peaceful life. Patience is key in the process. Probably we’ll never get it 100% perfect and that is certainly not the point here. Let’s not strive for this. We simply want to be able to consciously and with awareness choose the habits, beliefs and language we use towards ourselves and others. And that is an ongoing process…possibly never ending. “The better it gets, the better it gets”, as they say.
Be strong. Be patient. Be compassionate. Be intentional. Be you…!
