Learning a new way…

…the magic of the moment!

I am experiencing bodily stiffness, resistance but also a sense of anticipation. Uneasiness.

It’s been almost two years now that I am contemplating and envisioning on starting a new career for myself, and although I keep taking small steps forward, this “day” keeps shifting forward. It keeps slipping away. I am feeling like a racing horse full of energy on the start line, ready to go, waiting for the external signal that will allow me to start running.

And then it hits me. What if this external signal never comes? What if this “bang” is not supposed to be heard from the outside but from inside this time?

I am not used to doing things this way. I am used to responding and adapting to life, not consciously and proactively initiating or creating life from seemingly nothing. And that’s exactly the blockage I am feeling as resistance and stiffness in my body. at some level, I am called to make decisions, create pathways and next moves for myself. I am called to create the life I want to create. I am given what I’ve asked for, the chance, the time and the freedom to choose and create my life exactly as I want it. There are no safety nets, no guarantees, no certainty. Only possibilities. A pure life experience through trial and error. It’s just me and the vastness of possibility which lies in the unknown.

But am I actually taking it?

For one thing I am certain. I don’t want to force it. I want to attract and live a joyful and fulfilling life while acting as an example and inspiration for others to do the same. Not push through, but feel through. Ease and flow are the keywords for the life (and career) I am creating. Whatever I am creating I want this to express the fullness of me. It’s not about perfectionism, it’s about realness and truth.

So, I am learning to flow with life, day in and day out. Learning to be compassionate with myself even when my mind says that I am missing out on another day going by. I am learning to be kind with myself and remind me that I am always doing my best- even if my best feels really shitty for my high standards-. I am learning to allow me to experience the sadness or the frustration of a choice or behavior that was not in alignment with my goals and dreams; and also the excitement and fulfillment of an aligned one. I am allowing life to surprise me and I follow the breadcrumbs of my intuition to create a new amazing life experience for me each day. And when it’s not as amazing, that’s also part of the plan. How could we appreciate how good feels like if we didn’t know how bad also feels like?

Duality is part of life, but peace lies always in balance. My point of balance may differ than yours, but we are both here to experience how balance feels like for each of us.

Tip!

It’s amazing how by writing these things down in a way that may also create value for others, their grip on me loosens up. Expression -ideally in creative ways- and sharing is, I find, the best way of psychotherapy. Thinking and analyzing is also valuable and important but alone it’s not enough. It will keep you in loops as it’s the mind that tries to explain the mind. Free and creative expression on the other hand it will shift your energy and thoughts in the most natural and unexpected ways.