Change is NOT a choice
Heraclitus said it first (as far as we know) …”Change is the only constant in life”.
Life is a process of finding balance. That implies constant movement, flow and change. Change is thus simply part of the process of life, natural and inevitable. You may think of life like a flowing river. Stagnation is not an option for the river. If you restrict the flow of the river without giving it alternatives (i.e. change its course), sooner or later the river will overflow and cause destruction to its surroundings before it finds again its ‘new’ natural and balanced flow.
All of nature, including its living creatures, accept and allow change to happen naturally. For us, humans however things have become more complicated as we’ve evolved to ’thinking’ creatures. For humans, the soul is our life force. Our soul or spirit loves change. Change is essential for the aliveness and expression of the soul. Our spirit is here to expand and the way to do this is through (new) experiences.
For the human brain, however, the experience of change is not always easy. Why? Because it disrupts predictability. Brain likes order. Change translates as ‘temporary(?) chaos’ for the brain. And this question mark makes all the difference! It’s enough to bring up to the surface any form of resistance and fearful thoughts you can possibly imagine, with the intention to keep you exactly where you are - in the known and predictable, i.e., ‘manageable’. Because for the brain it doesn’t matter whether where you are is fulfilling or enjoyable as long as the territory is mapped out and the pathways (for survival) are drawn. Then you’re safe! Or at least your brain thinks you are….Eventually, the mind will need to catch up with the change, analyze it, process it and eventually normalize it. As soon as the mind settles into the new ‘normal’, all is 'well again. But till then, what? How do you allow space for change and convince your brain for the benefits of a change when resistance is acting out in full force and anxiety and panic become your ‘best’ friends?
Life is synonymous to change, meaning change will happen sooner or later whether by (conscious) choice or not. The more aware and tuned in you are to yourself and nature the easiest it will be for you to see when or where change is needed. You may even foresee it and expect it which allows you to have more control over the experience. The more you resist the change the more likely it is that the effects of the experience during this change are felt less controllable and/or more intense. Resistance to change causes suffering - you resist the force of life itself-. You may manage temporarily fool yourself that you can stop change by not choosing it, but be sure it won’t last long…where change is needed, change will find its way through. And when this happens the consequences- considering the analogy of the river- will be even more disruptive and destructive.
Life is always on your side. Works for you, for your own expansion and benefit. Your brain can only see and understand the aftermath of every change of course in your life path. The brain can only perceive and process the known (i.e., things that have already happened). It’s simply an organ and its main function is to keep us safe in the natural world. against perceived danger Somehow in the modern society, change (i.e. life) is also in the blacklist of ‘danger’. This belief is entrenched so deeply into our human subconscious that has become our value. Stagnation, conformity, familiarity is considered and accepted as safer than change (life). Can you see the paradox and the absurdity in this?
Surrendering to change and/or choosing for new experiences is coming often at a cost. The cost of letting go of the old. the old self, the old habits, the old connections with people and places. This cost depends also on the magnitude of the change.
Does this cost imply then a sacrifice? It may feel like that when the change is not consciously made (i.e., chosen). Sacrifice means you’re doing something against your will. Change, when consciously made, involves no sacrifice. It feels necessary and even desirable. It feels ‘right’ (in your body) even if it’s initially uncomfortable (for the mind).
Change in life is NOT a choice. It’s simply part of life itself. Yet, that doesn’t mean that we are powerless. Our power lies on how we respond to change. We can either work and flow along with life for the benefit of our own expansion or submit to the fearful illusions created by our survival organ in alignment with dysfunctional societal values and beliefs.
